Actually, I missed one dose of my anti-psychotics yesterday. I didn’t intend to do it purposely but I was busy developing a minimal amount of online learning resources for my kindergarten colleagues’ purview to see if they are appropriate for our online classes. Feeling guilty to say, it was very last minute work though I have actually written all the lesson plans beforehand. For most of the time, I was just summarizing journal articles by skimming their abstracts and discussions. Feeling amazed to tell, up to today since March 18 which was the first day whereby Malaysia implemented our restricted movement control order, I have summarized over 30 journal articles. From tomorrow onwards, I am going to try rewriting my problem statement after having settling the issues to do with my study significance.
Talking about today, I had a mental breakdown. As I missed the very much needed pill during this panicky period, I was tossing and turning in my bed for the whole night. My stomach was grumbling as I had only very light dinner. Moreover, I stayed up late. Regretfully, I lounged away my day without achieving anything. My body felt lethargic and my heart was aching from time to time. I had difficulty breathing. Some scary thoughts swirled around my mind while I was trying to have a replenishing nap which was to no avail at all. I felt as if I was at the brink of dying though I managed to make myself available for two work-related online meetings. Since the morning, I felt the tendency to vomit behind my throat. Regardless of the disgusting sensation, I tried to fill my empty stomach with food that my mum had painstakingly prepared. For dinner, I had something lighter and a cup of glucose drink.
Then, I scrolled down on my phone screen, looking at updates in Tzu Chi Telegram Group. I saw a call for donations from the public. Without hesitation, I made two separate donations to them: one from my remaining Grab money while the other from my dad’s remaining fund from EPF. It is just a small figure but my mood has lightened up once the transactions were made.
I would like to make a sincere wish for Covid-19 to turn gentle and harmonious for our humankind. With the greatest gratitude, I pray that our human race, more specifically, all those working as front-liners manage to help us in containing Covid-19 for it to dissipate away peacefully instead of spreading sporadically. I promise that I will work to become a better human being.
#I am going to sleep earlier after taking my long awaited pill. Tomorrow, I will continue to cultivate goodness in my heart through doings.