I’m glad to share that I have completed the challenge. Despite a few cheating days due to some necessary matters, I did quite well in exercising my self-control in resisting the use of social media. November was supposed to be my free and easy month since I have resigned but it has not been all the rosy. I became sick. It all started from my nut allergy (Recently, after trials and errors, it seems to have been proven that my body has grown to be hostile towards all nuts). This sickness has lasted for more than 3 weeks. I remember coughing out bloody phlegm and looking into the mirror at my rashy face. There were days and nights when I cried without any obvious reasons, not to mention the days I had a swollen, red eye due to repeated rubbing. I was also reminded of the scary instances of sleep paralysis I used to experience very frequently during my undergraduate years. One night when our neighbor was having a birthday party, I went through it again after so many years. Now, I have almost fully recovered after nearly finishing all the medicines from three doctor visits.
Despite this tumultuous emotional ride, I cherish the fact that I had the chance to volunteer at a graduation ceremony for the kids in the kindergarten I will be attached to. I was lucky enough to appear on the stage for a few seconds, acting ad hoc as a motherly figure during their student performance. There was a physically challenged girl and I have been touched by her resilience, thanks to the teachers who have trained her.
It was a month of sickness but I have tried to occupy my time meaningfully by embarking on a reading marathon. After a discussion with my fellow supervisors, I think I definitely need to read more to steer my mental health research in the right direction. Of course, I must listen to the whispers in my heart. As I read more, it is like rubbing salt into my wound as I delve deeper into my mental vulnerabilities and physical health warning signals. It is no doubt a route of self-discovery to mould myself into a person who is beautiful from the inside out. Something that opens up my mind is that resilience is not the sole solution for mental health recovery.
My November came to a meaningful full stop after I spent the last three days with a good friend. We had some heart-to-heart chats with her pouring out stories of her under-provided childhood and me reminiscing my affluent childhood that is under-shadowed by the onset of schizophrenia during my teenage years. Despite my endless coughing spell, torturing panting, and occasional dizziness, it felt good to be connected in this way. I am very grateful for our friendship.
Last but not least, I managed to watch Frozen 2 while gulping back my tears throughout the movie. If you would like to know why a children and family movie like this can tickle my fancy, just Google about the reflections on mental health from this movie.
I would like to end this post gracefully with a song from Guhara as remembrance for the kind soul she once was and her best friend, Sulli. Besides, here is a solemn moment to hold my beloved lecturer who has just passed away close in my heart ❤