My 2018 Train of Thought is phasing out and here comes my new Train of Thought slowly drawing into the 2019 station.
In 2019, there should be more self-nurturing, instead of self-indulgence. No more consistently chasing after temporary reliefs, be it sugary, fattening ice-cream, mood-lifting white coffee, boredom-eliminating finger/junk food or an endless play of YouTube videos. It’s time for more self-nurturing moments like working out to keep my fitness level higher, reading (books, journal articles, online essays, causeries, etc.) to build a sense of empowerment to change this life for the better and eating to make this body feel more energetic while being able to keep illnesses at the bay. I know that to err is human. However, I shall keep in mind to have self-indulgence only once in a long while. Nothing is perfect so no self-punishing attitude if I occasionally indulge in those sensually satisfying treats.
However, the plans for self-nurturing are hard to adhere to with all the seductive attractions we are bombarded with on a daily basis. How to stay disciplined and not to be tempted? I shall learn to think about or imagine the negative consequences of uncontrolled self-indulgence. It might be the diagnosis of diabetes or uncompleted projects/tasks. To make my life not so restricted and dull, I shall add more joy and merriment in it by balancing between pleasure and achievement. All this while, I have been focusing too much on achievement. Every weekends or holidays, I always carry with me the frame of mind that I need to achieve something so that my free time is not wasted. But, it’s time for a tweak in this kind of thought. Pleasure is also important for happiness but I have overlooked it most of the time. Watching drama series seems to be a good option to escape from the rut of my life and enjoy heartfelt pleasure before turning back to challenging activities for some sense of achievement. By having well-proportioned pleasure and achievement, my happiness will not be out of kilter. I have the decision power for what kind of entertainment materials to consume, depending on my values, life experiences and aspirations.
Activities that make me feel plugged in and forget the flow of time should be prioritized in my to-do list, with exception made for unfruitful and unproductive activities. These are the activities that I really enjoy doing till I lose track of the ticking clock and enter a trance of wonder. For example, reading and blogging. This is when all my depressed waves of spirits are washed away and waves of happiness come on my shore. The completion of such activities always make me come out stronger and readier for the setbacks in the real world.
Activities that heals and empowers me are good but social support is also important. I welcome those who intend to stay in my life forever though being apart in distance. My heart keeps and awaits for those souls who always hope for the best to happen on me, yet never forget to appreciate my true colours. Life is imperfect with ups and downs but I can always count on you. I dare not ask for the whole world from you but just silent prayers, positive support and sincere assistance which you see fit. Last but not least, it’s our quality time to reassure me that you are there for me till the eclipse of the world. You might not be next to me all the time, but you always remember and cherish our camaraderie.
Not only looking forward to all these good happenings in 2019, I am also letting go of what doesn’t serve my well-being anymore. It might be a friend circle or living environment. There’s no need to feel guilty for leaving certain characters behind as that’s how our story plot can change for the better. It’s not about hatred, ungratefulness or anger but moving on from connections that are no longer helpful. I wish you all the best and I hope you can find better connections. And, thanks for what we have had. Just to let you know that I am not doing very badly and life is becoming more beautiful. Connections which have become overly-dependent and toxic are meant to come to an end for us to have a better view of our own self-worth which is independent of anyone’s judgements and life circumstances. We meet different souls at different points of our life. Not all will go along with us till the eclipse of the world but each of them will certainly make us grow. By eliminating all these factors that no longer serve my life, I start to see a positive change in my mental health in terms of fewer occasions whereby I go around my living space patrolling to make sure that all items are put in their right places, scanning my monthly calendar needlessly just to make sure that I don’t forget something as trivial as booking a taxi and, worst still, checking my electronic devices almost daily to delete useless photos and files just to create a little more free space. All these seem like an easy job but doing these every day for many rounds has taken a toll on my mental health. For now, I feel safer and secured. There’s no need for checking to forestall a human disaster out of anyone’s carelessness. Life starts to pamper me with lots of security, comfort, freedom, privacy and love.
That’s it. My 2019 Train of Thought is drawing into the station soon. It is set to depart on 1 January 2019, at 12.00am. How about yours? Tell me or let me read more about it.
Happy New Year ❤
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Chinese New Year is around the corner. It feels like months of celebration following Christmas and it’s a good time to reflect and soar higher. I’m not in pursuit of anything but just a peaceful state of mind… a kind of thought that sets you free like a butterfly… free from the hurdles and grips of devil-like emotional states and patterns of behaviors/habits that drown you in the sea of hopelessness while eating you alive.