I am sure that we have met some perfectionists in our life.
Sometimes, it can be frustrating to be around these perfectionists who always aim for excellence and perfection which can be unrealistic to attain.
It’s stressful as we do not want to disappoint these perfectionists.
However, nobody feels good being a perfectionist. In fact, nobody wants to be a perfectionist.
I have been struggling with my daily habits out of my perfectionist temperament.
Some of these daily habits include:
- All my clothes hangers must face the same direction.
- Items of the same category must be placed close to each other
- Books must be arranged from the highest to the lowest
- My blanket must be folded neatly when not in use
- There must be no folds on the bedsheet.
- All items must be placed back to their original homes when not in use
- The doors of refrigerator and kitchen cabinet must be closed when not in use (I have developed the habit of checking these doors if they are closed since the incidents whereby I forgot to close them)
- All plastic bags must be folded neatly and put in a basket
- All the pictures and videos in my phone must be placed in the right folders
- All the files on my desktops must be well-organised
- There must be no leftover in the sink.
- Chairs must be pushed under the tables.
- There must be no rubbish near the house gate.
- The rubbish bin must be closed with its lid all the time.
- My exterior of my car must be free of stains all the time.
- Things in my car must be neatly arranged.
- It is a must to sweep my office room once a week.
- Everything that needs to be done, be it work-related or personal ones, must be written on my calendar or daily to-do-list
Although these habits can help to ensure the orderliness and cleanliness of your personal space for great comfort and clear mind, it can be killing if you keep repeating the same script in your mind over and over again…The script of asking yourself if you have done all the above by patrolling here and there to check all the placements.
Recently, I am trying to kick off the habits of perfectionism. These habits are not all bad, in fact it helps me to be an organised person who can ensure everything turn out right. With that said, these habits should be practised in moderation.
Instead of having my daily patrolling habit which can be burdening to my heart and soul, I am trying to be rooted in the local context at all times. It means that I am trying to be mindful by focusing on every moment I am rooted in. In this way, I can pay full attention in whatever I am doing, reducing the chances of forgeting to do all the above. As I concentrate on every passing moment, I can invest my available energy on the task at hand, making sure that it can turn out to be more fruitful.
I would like to stop the non-stop script in my mind which attacks my self-esteem even for a minor mistake or human error. Playing the script doesn’t serve me any advantages except giving me a false sense of control and security. I am so afraid of making mistakes or errors. The thought of me being at fault or careless can make me feel so inferior and not worthy of love. However, I need to change the script in my head. The truth is that our self-worth does not need any confirmation or approval but it is always with us. Its value is immeasurable, undeniable and unchangeable. In this way, I can be truly in the current moment, believing that this is where I should be, not any other places or contexts. Hopefully, I can relish every moment I am living in, making the best out of it.
The fact is that the bending of one or more of the rules stated above has very small or insignificant negative effects. It doesn’t matter at all even if one the of rules is broken. The world still goes round. I am still in control and safe. It’s time to keep in mind that I am always in control if I am alive at this moment instead of being a walking zombie that always looks back to the unpleasant past and speculates about the possible misfortunes in the future. No matter what happens, be it bad or good, it is always for a good reason. Therefore, I am absolutely safe in the cradle of God. The positive is for celebrations of new breakthroughs on the path of becoming more divine; the negative is for reminders of our next life projects and assignments along the revolutionary path towards becoming more divine. I am well-protected. I am placed in exactly where I should be.