Existential Crisis: Do I Exist?

Now is my existential crisis. I kept questioning myself…Do I really exist?…Who am I? Maybe, I exist as I live by my truth. My truth validates my existence. Sometimes, I lose myself in worldly affairs as I define myself based on the truth shaped by our intertwined human relationships. As I question myself more in terms of what my own truth is, my sight for what’s ahead is clearer. Same goes to my perspective towards my own self. So, what’s my truth? And, what’s not?

My truth is based on my personal values. All of us have our own personal values that we hold dearly. Some of us share the same personal values in a general way, but differ in our own specific ways. For example, both my friend and I personally value animals’ lives. However, my friend might think that we should feed the stray dogs in our neighborhood while I think that we should be vegetarian. That’s why it is hard to find another person exactly like you.

If we can live by our own truth, this unruly world can no longer shake us and we can practice authenticity by staying true to our personal values.

When failure comes to see us, we should always hold firm to our truth. Our truth is that we work hard for our lifelong learning, not because of our aims at great achievements. This is just like one of the key messages from the movie “Lee Chong Wei: Rise of the Legend”. There is a spirit called “Lee Chong Wei” who survived his childhood in poverty and bouts of teenage angst to rise as the Malaysian legend who reaches World No. 1 in the arena of badminton. When we always keep our truth close to our heart, no failure can topple us. Instead of feeling disheartened or overwhelmed by the negativities of our failure, we can dust ourselves off and get back on the rail of lifelong learning.

The Spirit, Lee Chong Wei

When we hear untoward comments that tend to break our heart and spirit, always listen to the voice that rings true to our ear. Adhere to the inner voice which always embraces us, even at our times of imperfection. As we feel helpless in making the whole world happy, just remember that we are not in a one-size-fits-all world. This is a gigantic world containing hordes of people from different life stories. Each of them is special in their own way of emitting their true beams to colour this black-and-white world. Where there are people, there will be disagreements due to the varieties of our perspectives. We are all similar human beings, yet we are different based on the stories we originate from. We just need to acknowledge the comfortable distances we keep between people. Sometimes, we just need a little space to spread our wings and fly high. However, sometimes, untoward comments can be acts of kindness in disguise.

When I feel hurt because of my unreciprocated love, I shall stand firm with my truth to stay away from disappointment, frustration, jealousy, loneliness and deflated self-esteem. In this case, my truth is that love is sincere and voluntary. There shouldn’t be any expectations in human relationships. Our vulnerability in human relationships reflects the perfect beauty of our majestic love. Despite the nature of human relationships which can sometimes be very fragile, we should learn that the commitment towards our personal values should never be fragile. So, let’s not turn our love into anger or hatred.

When someone criticizes my reasoning for practicing a vegetarian diet or describes me as a troublesome lunch mate, a picky eater, etc., I shall remember my truth. My truth is that animals can feel pain even though they do not have a language system as sophisticated as our human language. And, we, as the most brilliant organisms with the ability to be empathetic, should practice benevolence towards sentient beings. There’s no need to fit in by being a meat-eater in this world that is crowded with meat-lovers.

So, what’s your truth?

“Let your smile change the world, but don’t let the world change your smile.”
Connor Franta

Same goes to your authentic truth.
Let the world revolve around your truth, but don’t let the world twist your truth.
Of course, never forget that the strongest truth is swathed in a tulle of humbleness, meekness and docility.

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