A change

I am recovering from my sickness. Previously, I lost my voice and coughed like hell. I was so worried about my lecture classes. Moreover, the lecture was important for their trimester end speaking test. But, I just could not speak at all. My medication made me feel so sleepy. And, I needed to mark my students’ assignments.

This is how I realized the importance of health. When I had bad health, I realized I needed to give up on a lot of things. Life is so fragile. A lot of things which are important to me.

Life is short. I start to think of my life’s priorities and the time I have wasted all this while. Just for some insignificant things. I guess I have held on some things which are not beneficial for too long.

I always replay the dark memories again and again…just to change the story lines to make myself satisfied, calm, comforted and happy. In other words, I have been using my imagination to convince myself everything is still alright and in the original, good state.

While preparing for my students’ revision classes, I came across an article on how our human identity is undermined in this gadget-filled, pharmaceutical-enhanced world.

One of the points in this article is that violent online games might change the brain structures of gamers and alter their thoughts and emotions through the power of imagination. In other words, the brains of online games addicts who imagine themselves to be in the two-dimensional, screen-based world might change biologically. This biological change in their brains will cause them to lose sight of their real, good selves and become more alike the violent characters in the screen-based world.

Another highlighted case is whereby an experiment was done on three groups of participants. The first group was assigned to be in a room with a piano and a piano trainer who would train them to play the piano during the experiment. Another group was also assigned to a room with a piano but there was no piano trainer to train them. They were just sitting, waiting and looking at the piano. The last group was assigned to a room with a piano and without a piano trainer as well. However, this group were asked to imagine themselves to be in a piano training during the experiment. Surprisingly, the research findings show that the first group who had piano training and the last group who imagined themselves to be playing the piano had a similar change to their brain structure, especially the brain part related to finger movement. However, the second group hadn’t undergone any change in their brain structure.

So, that’s the power of imagination. When you imagine, it is not just happening in your imagination world, but it is making changes to your brain, thoughts, emotions and behaviours to the extent that it seems real to you.

I can relate well to this as I am a schizophrenic patient. When I was sick, I always imagined things…to the extent that I ended up living in my imagined world and lost touch of the real world. There were some points when I had difficulty differentiate between the real and the imagined.

Thought my sickness is under control now, I still find some traces in me which like to imagine things. I shall minimize the chances to imagine. So, I tell myself, please see the world as it is, don’t try to change it using your imagination. That’s the fact. It is ugly, hurtful, disappointing, depressing, overwhelming, stressful….the list goes on. But, it is temporary…It shall pass…Happiness will find you…If you keep on imagining, you open your old wounds… You will never move on to a greener field…You will be stuck there….Playing the sad memories again and again…keep reminding yourself of the sadness….So,see the fact….Mourn if needed….then just look for something new…do new things….see new things….listen to new things…..say new things….change your life for the better.



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