Let go of Demon, hold the hand of Angel

It is time for me to turn over a new leaf
from a goal-oriented person who always covets gratification
to a process-oriented person who enjoys her every day on this planet

My sugarless black coffee bags are diminishing day by day
After a cup once in a short while
I almost finish consuming the whole pack of coffee bags
Same goes to my spagetti seasoned with instant mushroom soup
I wonder if I should purchase BodyShop lip conditioner if mine has been finished
Maybe not
A no-no for the green tea body shampoo as well

Every thing related to him is ebbing away
including my feeling towards him
my trust towards him
my hope towards him
my happiness with him

The fact that I will forever remember him is true
The fact that nothing between us is permanent is true
By accepting these two facts instead of choosing one from the two
I feel inner peace
Permanence is true
Impermanence is also a true
What makes impermanence beautiful is the permanence from our soul

I accept that he is gone from my life
I also accept that I am still sad
When I say ‘yes’ to the current situation instead of denying it
I feel freed

I am learning to improve my mindfulness
When peeling winter melon while preparing for my late brunch
I focused on the peeling
I learned that I need to make sure I peel the skin thoroughly
if not, the cooked winter melon will feel hard at my bite due to the skin not peeled well
The light dawns on me that if I connect with this second
I can learn a lot
Learning feels great

No more schedule for me
No more to-do-list
No more shopping list
They stress me out
Without them, my life won’t be affected much
I would rather live without them
No plan, less rigidness
The more I plan, the more anxious I am
Let it go
Flow with my life
Let it unfold naturally
I trust that a mighty God is planning the best life for me
I just need to listen well for the footsteps of opportunities

I feel relieved
My heart is lighter
my mind is free
I smile naturally
I love myself
I learn to let go of some trivial issues
think more like a man
instead of a girl with a million thoughts in her mind
I turn off my sensitivity to small issues
that doesn’t deserve and worth my attention and spirit

I love hard
care deeply for people
yet not easily feel turned off due to small issues
I learn to think based on facts and problem-solving
instead of my beliefs, expectations, emotion, thinking, hopes, wishes…
I learn to think in the shoes of others

At the same time,
I am always myself
standing firm with my personal values that build my integrity
always live with all my needs well taken care of
Only hold on to what serves me
Thank those who sacrifice or help to create my happiness

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