专家说：“ You need to grieve enough before moving on to a new phase of life/relationship. In this world, the society degrades the pessimistic and assumes that adults need to be strong and emotionally independent. That’s why many people tell themselves that they must get over ‘it’ eventhough it has just ended not long ago. They end up not grieving enough and bring the baggage to the next phase of life. Some need three months to grieve. Some need longer. But just grieve enough before moving on.
Cry, cry and cry. Look at your heartache with compassion and curiosity. Your past wounds may surface. Your black memory, your past failures, your friends’ betrayal…but let’s make this moment a great opportunity for a wholesome healing. Thorough healing for the wounds that have been here all this while. Instead of avoiding it, face it.
Stop the blame game. No blaming him or yourself. The blame game will make you harder to move on. Stop asking what were the faults in the relationship. Focus more on yourself and why you end up this way. Make this a chance to understand yourself and your needs.
Although the form of relationship between you and him has changed, but it doesn’t mean you stop loving him, stop caring about him. Your feeling towards him will never change. But this doesn’t mean a new one will not come. Just have faith that you still can meet a new one who can make you feel in love as deeply as this one. You will feel all the same excitement, sparks, joy, sweetness in the new one. You just have to believe so. The new one will be just as good as this one.This is called unconditional love. You see no flaws in him. He is just perfect. Everything about the relationship is just good. You can ignore all the imperfections but you cannot ignore one fact. The fact is you and him are not meant to be. He is not the right one for you. Though painful, you cannot ignore this equally important fact. “