The last post about love

I feel pain spreading from my heart to everywhere
I have been deprived of sleep for 3 nights
My cousin saw my dark circles
Today I don’t feel like eating
I wonder whether I should go for the delayed consultation with my phychiatrist
Two sleeping pills can’t make me sleep too

But, I feel I am more awake
Awake from the dream
Though painful, but I feel lighter
Lighter as many things are gone
Less responsibilities
I can put away the cooking, bento, DIY, gratitude card… projects for someone aside
Less items in my to-do list
I have more time for myself’
Time to pamper myself

He left and this makes me feel the world is cruel and horrible
The world never sympathises
The world is evil
but…It makes me see some light coming from my home when I look down the path to go home
I realize how important my family and friends are when I am hurt
I see shining friends

Maybe God has planned all this for me
For me to fall terribly and painfully so that I learn my lesson
Learn to direct my focus from just this relationship to other fields of life
I am really glad this relationship hasn’t impinge on my study and other stuff too much
It is not that bad
Everything is still in good shape
He didn’t take away anything
I just need more courage and strength to grow a second heart

I cried yesterday and today
but tomorrow I am going to smile

Our time is short
but during this period,
I have tasted everything about the best of this thing called love
The memory is always with me till the end
I won’t forget
Maybe one day I will meet someone new
We will fall in love and be together
Maybe I will still miss him
but only when I am alone
Only once in a very long while
The feeling is true
It will never be forgotten
It is to be kept in the box in my heart
It is better in this way
Coz if I force myself to forget everything about this love
I will get mad
The more I try, the worse I feel.
The more hard I try find reasons to forget, the more frustrated I am coz there is no one reason
I should just keep it in a box and ignore the light coming out from the box

Everyone has a dark secret
I have mine
It is okay to feel sad sometimes
coz all adults are like that
am I right?
One day, I will celebrate the memory for making me a better person

Now, I am very sensitive to words related to love
I will just ignore them, instead of avoiding
Then I will get through the hump

This is the last post about love
Time to do my homework
Time to get back on rails

It’s okay
yes, it is there
but just ignore it
don’t have to run
just do nothing about it

I remember the saying
When the most important person leaves
the remaining people are getting more important

Someone told me not to be too serious in this
If not, I will be hurt and I will be the loser
However, I am courageous
The next love I meet
I will still be this serious
This should not haunt my next love relationship

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