I miss him

If I numb unhappiness, I numb happiness too. I can’t train my brain and heart to turn off just one switch of feelings.

Therefore, I need to face the unhappiness and believe that it is just a passing phase. If I try to numb unhappiness, it will surely pop up again.

The activities I carry out to numb the feeling will turn into a kind of unhealthy addiction.

Don’t pretend that you are not… Just be yourself. Be authentic. If not, the true self will be suffocated being covered up as your true self is always alive. You cannot kill the true self just by ignoring and pretending to be another person.

Love someone at your will even though there is no guarantee for your future. Keep loving as if it is okay not to receive anything in return.

Be stupid. Be silly. Keep trusting that there is true love/forever love for me in this life.

Be yourself. If you love him, continue to do so as you cannot control your feeling. We are animals with feeling so just be yourself. Breathe by giving out love as you wish.

Don’t try to make uncertain things certain. It is okay to be uncertain and messy. It is okay to be imperfect and surrounded by imperfect people. It is okay to fail. Let life give you surprises as it uncovers.

Don’t deny, humiliate, scold, hate, disapprove, punish, beat, kill, criticize, discredit…the self that loves him despite all the odds. Accept the self that loves him for who she is. Love her, praise her, encourage her, protect her, respect her, support her, believe her all the times.

She is not wrong. She is a nice girl. She is worth your love. She is beautiful. When she does something wrong, she always admits and apologize. She should be forgiven.

I will be happy and carefree again. I trust so.

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