A talk that struck my heart

Today, I had a talk with a friend. She is suffering from mental illness so I always feel she is very familiar to me (as I am schizophrenic). Her words have struck my heart and inspired me a lot. She said something like this…

When we are faced with a saddening fact, don’t try to ignore the sad fact or try to see the sad fact in a positive light. Don’t think that…

“I should be grateful…I have more than I am entitled to in my other areas of life…Others have worse life than me…Tomorrow will be better…I am well-taken care of by God…I should be hopeful as our life is full of possibilities…”

because all these ways of thinking won’t help. Instead of all these…

In summary, there are two personalities in mentally sick people like us. The crazy one and the normal one. In some cases, the normal one can be someone who is successful at work or study.

Instead of asking the crazy one to vanish and chasing her away, tell her…sorry…please forgive me…thank you…I love you…The crazy one is not a bad girl but a girl with a broken heart…She is not bad…she is just being controlled by the horrible memory…she was victimized…she needs love and care to recover, not refusal and disapproval. Therefore, I should affirm the crazy girl so that she doesn’t feel worthless…

Instead of looking at the current problem on the surface, we should look deeper into the root problem. As long as the root problem is there to haunt us, we will never get free.

Medication should go hand-in-hand with hypnosis or counseling. My friend is right about this. I have been on medication only all this while. Recently, I have been crying and having difficulty to sleep well. Bad dreams every single night. This kind of situation always happens to me. It goes off and comes back.

Sometimes, my heart is painful. I thought I had heart disease. My psychologist checked my blood pressure. He said my heart is normal. I am just feeling heart-broken but I never really understand the reason for my heartbreak.

Hypnosis and counseling needs money. I wanna earn more money. Hope UM can hire me as research assistant next semester. Then, I will have income. Once I have earned enough, I want to see a professional to heal my heart completely.

I need to rectify my sleeping pattern. I am so tired of being sleepless at nights and sleepy during the days. My mother and my friends always complain that I look uninterested and tired whenever we have some recreation activities like shopping.

Thanks to my friend for having a talk with such healing effect with me.

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