Off the schedule

I love planning
I would say that…I am the greatest planner

Tell you… I always have all sorts of deadlines jotted down on my calender
The date to renew my car license, the deadlines for assignments and presentations, the casual appointment with my friends, the date to shop for something, the date for my haircut, the date to pack my luggage, her birthday, his birthday, the date to check my examination result (in case it has been released)…(endless list)

All these planning are sucking away my happiness
and have made me a control freak
I am being too conscious of my planning
I am always looking at my calender and counting the days, hours, minutes, seconds…
And I end up losing the joy of life

Everything is so mechanical
controlled and full of constraints
Instead of enjoy the beauty of the words and paragraphs in books
I am counting each minute that slip off with each paragraph I have scanned through quickly
My brain is all about counting and planning
My heart is about chasing the deadlines

I am anxious and nervous
and tired and demotivated
I am stressed
Stop that!
Go away, you control freak
Relinquish the order

Be stupid, careless, clumsy, forgetful…
at least, I am happier being an imperfect lady
Let the clock poop out
I would rather follow the rhythm of normal heartbeat
instead of the ticking of the clock

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