No strings attached

I have a hole in my heart
I have been searching for pieces to fill the hole
I have got the hole from something taken from me

Something taken away out of blue
Something I value very much

I search and search
I have found a love piece to fill the hole
but the love piece is not permanent and indestructible
I may lose it one day
and the hole will appear again

I will be depressed
Crying and moaning my loss
The loss of a piece from my body

This shouldn’t be the way
I need to make a change
No more filling up the hole
I should believe that I am a complete self
I am the one who can complete me
not my family members, not my lover, not my friends and others

If I give out love just to get a piece from you to complete my hole
This is a buy-and-sell business
A selfish business for personal gains
I give out for my sake
for my security of getting love back
not for your happiness

I am living with expectations
Expectations that I can get something back
I am living with illusion
illusion that I can be happy permanently
illusion that what I gain from you is the solution
illusion that my future will be perfect with you

illusion is just illusion
hope is just hope
desire is just desire
they are not true
only now is true

I have attached myself too closely to you
I shouldn’t blame you for my pain
but thanks you for it
as the pain let me awake from my illusion
I need to wake up
staying in the illusion will bring more misery
Time to renew my thinking system
Time to believe that my life is great with you or without you

During our happy moments,
I cherish it and not to hold on it to long
During my lonely hours,
I cry but only for an hour and not days
I express myself
but not to let the world tie me up with judgement

I came to the world alone as a baby
If I die,
I cannot bring anything with me
Even we die at the same time,
we will still walk on different paths
as my fate resulted from bad and good deeds is different from yours

You are not mine
but my soul is mine
I should go on with my life freely
my mood with no strings attached

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