We always think that a world without boundaries is good, whereby people are united as one and not separated . However, this is not really right sometimes. Boundaries are still important.
If there is no boundaries, people will be very dependent on each other. They will measure their self-worth according to their relationship with others. Besides, their feeling, thoughts, personal values, actions and other aspects of life will be controlled by others consciously or unconsciously.
Then, there will be no authenticity and creativity. Being able to be our own self is what makes us stand out among others. Copycats are just boring.
Some people did not have a good childhood. Their childhood was lack of love due to family dispute, divorced parents, abusive parents or others. Lack of love makes them feel that they are insufficient or imperfect.Growing in an environment that was lack of love, they felt not loved and as they have grown up, the feeling of not being loved is still in their heart. Their dark memories grab away their self-worth. They are always feeling insecure.
With an empty heart that is always hungry for love, they always search around for love anxiously. They do not have good judgement whereby they simply step into a relationship with a person that is not as capable and excellent as they are. For example, a successful lady fell in love with a drug addict and kept saying that their relationship was workable and the drug addict was better than everyone thought he was. In the end, she ended up with relationship failure and sadness.
Besides, a dependent person is always unhappy because his happiness is always dependent on others. When his intimate partner ignores him, he feels sad and steps into the circle of self-pity. He only asks for love and thinks that he should be the center of this world that receives everything he dreams of. Therefore, he only thinks of being at the receiving end instead of being a giver.
Love is about giving without the wish of being repaid. We should be happy and satisfied to be able to stay alive and give out love. Happiness depending on others doesn’t exist. True happiness is from the joy of giving and also the realization that our good deed improves the life of our loved ones.
In short, boundaries are important. We should see a line between ourselves and others. We have our own self-worth and others have theirs. Our self-worth is not dependent on others. Happiness is created by our effort. It is not something that is decided by others. Our happiness is controlled by ourselves. Therefore, there is a line between ourselves and others. Don’t let others step into our zone and affect our happiness.
Having a sense of self-control builds relationship, not to destroy it. Having a sense of self-control builds people instead of degrading people.